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Father Xmas is a Girl :-)

Here at Elfland we have been inundated with CVs for the Father Xmas role. In fact so many CVs that we have had to close our applications early. A copy of the ad can be seen here

A worrying factor was that over 40 of the responses to our Trade me advertisement were “serious” ones.

However, the stand out winner by far was Allison Doody and I am repeating her job application in full. She wins the position on merit, sense of humour and her previous experience. Here is her covering letter and would other job seekers please note, how a good covering letter is your one, and only, chance to make a first impression… She read the advertisement and responded to all the relevant requirements brilliantly…now if only it was real (shhhh don’t tell the children)

“I am writing to apply for the above position.

As I have been working for a very long time as Tooth-Fairy Coordinator I have no CV as this advertisement has come out of the blue! So I thought I would just write you a quick letter so you can see I have what it takes to do this job.

Like I say I have worked as a Tooth-Fairy for a long time. As I have gotten older and become somewhat less pretty and agile I moved into a coordination role. For the last few years I have been working from the office despatching the fairies to toothless children worldwide so they can get their coins in exchange for a tooth. It has been difficult sitting in a busy office all day and watching the younger slimmer fairies do the job I so love.

So when I saw your job and you were looking for an older chubbier type of creature I thought all my Christmases had come at once so to speak! I am 39 years old, but in Fairy Land I may as well be 139. I don’t mind wearing a beard and having a few wrinkles painted on. I can talk in quite a deep voice if need be but being a healthy size 16 I probably won’t need the cushion around my middle.

I have experience working with animals too which will come in useful for handling reindeer. Before I was a tooth fairy I worked as an apprentice Easter bunny. The Easter Bunny was a hard task master and only fed me carrots. He was continually belittling me for not having floppy ears and a tail. It was damaging my self esteem, so I made the switch to Fairyland and I fitted right in!

My driving record is not the best, so if I am hired I think I will need a capable elf to take charge and ferry me around the world. I once had a lovely brand spanking new Subaru and I managed to smash it five times in nine months. I took each mirror out in the garage, I put my foot on the accelerator instead of the brake and punted another car in the car park of three kings Foodtown causing major damage to my car. I hit a rock and made a big dent and backed into a wall. My husband, The Wizard of OZ and I thought it might be better for me and the car if we got a smaller one. So we now have a lovely brand new Fiat 500 Bambina. If we could work out a way of hitching the Reindeer to that I could just charge mileage and use that for the night.

I am good at reading the worst of writing as I was once a PA to Dr. Who, and we all know that doctors have notoriously bad writing! Also as a tooth fairy and an Easter Bunny I get a lot of letters from little kids, asking to be upgraded to larger eggs or paper notes.

So apart from my dubious driving record, I feel I have the right personality, attention to detail, customer focus and tummy to make a great Team Leader.

Thank you for your consideration and I hope to hear from you soon.

Kind regards,

Allison Doody
(AKA Freda Fairy, and previously Bronny-Bunny)

For her effort, Allison wins a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine (to keep up appearances) and free career counselling in the New Year.

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1 comment

  • Beate Minderjahn · January 2, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Just before Christmas I started to check the job advertisements on Trade Me again. I only do that, when I have nightmares about staying a starving artist for the rest of my life. Most of the time I am optimistic enough to believe in my dream to create a proper income with my paintings, but sometimes (especially during full moon) I am a bit afraid that I will run out of time and will only become famous, once I am gone.

    Please excuse my broken English (it’s not my first language). Unfortunately I just found out, that it might be too late to send my job application. Because of other “commitments” around this time of the year it took me a bit longer to find the quite time for writing.

    But here is why your ad “talked” to me straight away for a lot of reasons:
    I think, that people who know me well would agree, that this would have been the perfect job for me (and I believe that there is not a lot, a woman can’t do!).

    First of all “unlimited global travel” would solve my “island syndrome problem” that I developed after immigrating from Germany to New Zealand ten years ago. I love to travel, but as a starving artist, it is not so easy to get off the island now and then.
    Second, “no need to worry about expense account”, solves my next problem, the female passion for shopping. “Company vehicle” is perfect as I just had to sell my beautiful, but faulty six cylinder Ford station wagon, as it drank more petrol than I can afford. I am not so sure about the red uniform, because my favorite colour is black (for a slimming effect), but I understand the reasons for “red” in the first place and bcause travelling mostly happens at night. “Meals and drinks when on duty” also sounds good to me. My European herritage and the love for good food and wine, which is in my blood, teaches me to appreciate different cultures. International food and eating habits can be very exciting, what I learned a long time ago, when I visited my brother in China. By the way, I prefer French and Italian eating culture. Working one night a year solves another of my many problems in finding the right job. One day a year means I can still use the other days of the year for painting, cleaning the house, looking after the kids, feeding the cat, keeping my garden tidy, going out for lunch with friends, enjoying shopping, visiting art galleries and keeping up-to-date with the latest programs on tv.
    And to be honest, a very old, traditional, well established company is always a safer option for a job, than the young, hip and funky ones, that shoot out of nowhere and with the same speed disappear into a black hole.
    I am the ideal team leader and I have no problem managing a multi-cultural team, as I am very experienced with foreign homestay kids, especially from Asia. For many years I look after them and believe me, they also can be difficult at times. But a large pot of Spaghetti or ordering Pizza mostly does the trick. And as a mother I am more than used to unexpected requests of money and products, being asked about additional services, specific goods and delivery dates. Reading childlike writing is no problem either. Even my husband for 20 years still writes in that style and uses capital letters for emphasis, if he leaves me a message on the dining table.
    With my love for food and wine I have established a roundish figure already, and I definitely don’t need the cushion. But if required, it is no problem to grow to a prosper size 24 until next Christmas.

    And talking about multi-tasking, I am the one! My friends don’t call me “the octopus” for no reason. I don’t know Harry Potter very well, but I can be in so many places at the same time like nobody else. As a mother, wife, artist, cleaner, taxi-driver, nurse, psycho therapist, translator, cook, computer expert, diplomat, event manager, shopaholic, Trade Me merchant and animal carer, I am so used to get up early, look after everybody and everything and don’t allow my self a rest before going to bed at midnight. And not, that you think I will sleep then. At night, if it is really quite in my house, I work on a mental level, solve money problems, plan the next days and weeks, organise the kids homework, come up with creative ideas for my art career or rescue the cat from a fight with the neighbour’s dragon.
    And believe me, the look you require is ideal! I not only look old, I also feel very old already, even though I am not quiete 50 yet. You will see on my attached photo, that there is no need for plastic surgery or any artificial “make me look old” enhancements. White hair come through on a daily base and again, don’t’ worry. Until next Christmas it will be just perfect.
    You can ask my 10 year old son. I am very patient and good with Children. I am able to scream out “dinner is ready” for minimum 10 times before anything serious happens. With a lot of computer animated technology in the house, my life gets easyer every day. I can send text messages or skype with my family members to let them know, what is on the menu. Blootooth, myspace, i-tunes, facebook, website, newsletters and youtube are no longer “un-known territory” thanks to my kids. Especially during the school holidays, I am a happy jolly person. Once school starts again, it is a different story. But lucky enough Christmas will always be in the holidays!
    Great attention to detail, accuracy and project management is the air that I breath. Having studied Business management, worked as a Financial Controller, having had my own Real Estate and Property Management company for many years, and then turned my life around, studied Interior Design and became an artist… This proofs my flexibility and I still believe to be the perfect candidate.
    I am not so experienced with sleigh driving, but in the last 20 years I only ran over one full rubbish bin while reversing in my driveway and a long time ago I managed to hit and damage another car, with my car, which had a broken motor and wasn’t’ even working at that time. That is not easy to do and it is a long and complicated story….
    Another advantage could be, that English is not my first language. I speak nearly perfect German, can order drinks in French, Italian and Spanish and I am able to say certain words in 73 languages, including Japanese, Korean and Chinese! You never know…
    I am creative (still have around 500 printed kids t-shirts in storage, I designed last year), a studio full of paintings, a garage full of home wares, vases and giftware from an ex-shop and I am happy to include these items free of charge in my deliveries. In that way it also would save my marriage and help to de-clutter my spaces.

    Reading the winning job-application, I have to admit, that Allison’s experience as an Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy is quiete impressive and obviously I can’t compete with that. So good luck to Allison.
    But just in case, she will be in maternity leave one day, I am happy to jump right in….

    Happy New Year and hopefully you’ll keep me in your file,

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