*Unlimited Global travel
*No need to worry about expense accounts
*Company Vehicle and smart red uniform provided
*Meals and drinks when on duty

Our client has been operating for hundreds of years and is very well respected in their market. They operate throughout the whole world for one night a year.

Although they have a complete monopoly over their market, they have no problems with the Commerce Commission. Technology has made their market harder but they have continued to operate in traditional ways using tried and tested methodology.

As Customer Service Team leader you will be responsible for managing a multi-cultural team, including many elves. Elves are notoriously difficult to manage due to their playful way of approaching their work.

You will listen carefully to customer requisition requests and you will have to read many letters asking about company services, enquiring about products, and insisting on specific delivery dates. Your eyesight must be good as some of these requests can be composed in quite childlike writing, although many of our customers use capital letters for emphasis.

You will need to be of portly build, or be prepared to wear a cushion. You must not be claustrophobic as you often have to go down chimneys. In fact, some of our deliveries can be quite tricky!

The successful applicant will also be good at multi-tasking as you often have to be in many places at the same time. Sometimes you will be store based (normally in a nice little grotto) but often you will be flying around all over. To assist your role, we will provide a deluxe version of the basic Time-Turner as used by Hermione Grainger (Harry Potter).

Ideally you will look old, or be prepared to look old, as we need continuity of brand and all our previous incumbents have had white hair. A statue of our previous Team Leader has recently been placed on Queen Street in Auckland and this gives you an indication of the look we are trying to achieve. You will also need to be a happy jolly sort of person, of patient disposition, and get on well with children.

You need great attention to detail and previous major project management experience will be essential. Our reputation depends on complete accuracy and our company slogan is “Right People, Right Goods, Right Time” We cannot afford to deliver our products to naughty children.

If you have previous experience of sleigh driving (preferably at night) that will be of distinct advantage.

Closing date for applications 24th December at 11.59pm exactly – NO EXCEPTIONS

CVs to James Cozens, Leading Chief Elf Advisor by e-mail to

james@job.co.nz

Please only send fun CVs and letters – NO SERIOUS APPLICATIONS – THIS IS NOT A REAL JOB.

The “short list” of the best 3 fun CVs will be published on my blog – www.jobblog.co.nz and you can also add any comments there.

It has been a hard year in the job market so this fun ad is especially for all those who have had a tough time.

A very Happy Xmas to all of you reading this and Happy Xmas to my friends (both of them)

Best of luck with your job, and job searching, in the New Year

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